Do you have a best friend? I mean an absolute “you-know-everything-about-each-other” kind of best friend. The kind of person that you can go without seeing for four minutes or four years, and then pick right back up again with like nothing happened? Well, for me, that’s my little brother. We are so much alike we joke that we were Irish twins (even though we are 4 years apart). I swear, even though I live about halfway across the country from him, I often know what he is thinking or how he is doing before he does. And that goes the other way, too. His ability to call me on rough days or send me a funny meme when he has no idea I am depressed is uncanny.
While we were growing up we moved a lot for my Dad’s job as a preacher. I went to 5 different schools before I hit high school, so long-term friends weren’t really an option. We would eventually stop writing to each other and the friendship would just fizzle out. You kids don’t know how good you have it with your social media and cell phones! Can you feel me shaking my fist at the computer screen? Well, I am, so just imagine it.
But my brother was with me through it all. Although, we didn’t always get along. There were definitely growing pains – like the time we were little kids in church and I slapped the heck out of him while Daddy was at the pulpit and Momma was at the piano playing hymns. I was trying to tell him he needs to listen to me because I was (and still am) older than him. He would NOT do what I was saying at all – which, in hindsight, was the right call because we were literally in church at the moment. I have no clue where I got the idea, but I was always dramatic even at a young age. I slapped him right on the cheek. Not lightly, either. Like a good Dynasty catfight slap. His face turned red and I immediately regretted it. I apologized but I will NEVER forget the look on his face. That ended my slapping phase right then and there. To his credit, he didn’t cry nor did he ever do what I told him to. Which I think tells you a lot about what you need to know.
We also would spend our days pretending to be ghosts in the ever-so-slightly dilapidated 1920’s house we grew up in in Kentucky. To this day we are both ABSOLUTELY convinced that the place was haunted. We were just joining the party. We have so many years of inside jokes that when people hear us talk it sounds like a foreign language. He’s the only lifelong friend I’ve ever had, and our bond was unbreakable.
We never ratted each other out to our parents. I’d even step on his bed to sneak out as a teenager, but he never said a word. That loyalty carried over to Christmas too. On Christmas Eve after everyone had gone to bed, but comfortably ahead of Santa’s arrival, we would sneak out of bed and tell each other one gift that the other would get the next morning. The rules were that it couldn’t be the gift from you and it couldn't be that year’s big gift. But it amped up our excitement for the next morning to open that gift then wink at each other in our little secret plot. We did that well into adulthood, and we’d probably still do it today if we still lived together.
As you can see, my brother is my ride-or-die. My main man. My best dude. Our plan is to win the lottery and get a big ol’ plot of land together and build our dream homes. He’ll take care of the chickens, goats, and cows. I’ll garden, can, and bake. We’ll have custom golf carts to get to each other’s houses and have golf cart jousts, and our partners will just have to suffer us. So when I was thinking of this episode I naturally thought of my brother since it’s his birthday and I just had to recreate an updated adult version of his infamous Big Bird cake. Fingerprints and all. Love you bro. Next year in the Holy Land.
Old Fashioned Chocolate Cake
3 ounces of good chocolate
2 teaspoons of instant coffee
1 ½ cup boiling water
3 cups sugar
2 ½ cups of flour
1 ½ cups of cocoa
2 teaspoons baking soda
¾ teaspoon baking powder
1 ¼ teaspoon salt
¾ cup of vegetable oil
1 ½ cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 eggs
Preheat your oven to 323 degrees F.
Combine chocolate, instant coffee, and boiling water. Stir to melt the chocolate. Set it aside to let it cool.
Sift together the sugar, flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Set it aside.
In a large liquid measuring cup, combine the oil, buttermilk, and vanilla. Stir to combine and set it aside.
In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, put the eggs in and mix on low speed until the eggs are thickened and lemon colored.
Prepare 2 10”x2” cake tins with butter, parchment, and flour.
Turn the mixer on low and stream in the buttermilk mixture. Then very slowly stream in the coffee mixture while running it down the side of the bowl. This allows the eggs to temper and not cook.
Add the flour mixture and stir until just combined. Remove from the mixer and put half the batter into one cake pan and the remainder in the second cake pan. Bake for approximately 45 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.
Cool for 10 minutes then remove cake from the pans to cool to room temperature. Once at room temperature, wrap the cakes tightly in plastic wrap and put in your refrigerator for at least 3 hours or overnight.
Fill and ice your cake!
Champagne Swiss Meringue Icing
1 ⅓ cup egg whites
3 ⅓ cup of sugar
1 ½ teaspoon of salt
¼ teaspoon Cream of Tartar
2 ½ pounds (10 sticks) of butter, cut into tablespoons, room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla
¼ teaspoon champagne flavor
Yellow food color (use gel)
In the bowl of a stand mixer whisk the egg whites, sugar, salt and cream of tartar. Place over a simmering pot of water and heat the egg mixture until it reaches 185 degrees F. Remove the bowl from the simmering pot of water and put back on the mixer.
Using the whisk attachment, whip the eggs on high for 10 minutes until they are light and fluffy. They should be 90 degrees F.
Slow the mixer to low and add the butter 1 tablespoon at a time letting each tablespoon incorporate before adding another. While mixing, the icing may look curdled but it will smooth out.
Add vanilla and champagne flavor and mix until combined. Remove the whisk attachment and remove all the icing. Replace the bowl onto the mixer with the paddle attachment. Add the yellow food color mixing on low until you reach the color you want. Remember that gel food color will deepen as it sits.
Use it to ice your favorite cake. Fingerprints optional.
Strawberry Filling
1 pound ripe strawberries, chopped
1 cup sugar
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons of Cook Type Clear-Jel (see notes for substitutions)
Combine the sugar, salt, and Clear-jel. Whisk to combine. Add strawberries and toss to coat them completely.
Place berries in a saucepan and heat until thickened.
Notes:
You can also use equal amounts of cornstarch, however the filling will look more clouded.
French 75 Cocktail
Makes 2
Ice
1 ounce Gin
½ oz Lemon Juice
1 ounce simple syrup
Champagne
Fill a shaker with ice. Pour in the gin, lemon juice, and simple syrup. Shake for 15 seconds to combine and let the ice chill the ingredients. Pour into 2 champagne glasses. Top with your favorite Champagne or Prosecco.
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